Reactions and Feelings

REACTIONS TO REACTIONS TO FEELINGS AND FEELINGS
VISIBLE BEHAVIORS INNER FEELINGS AND VISIBLE BEHAVIORS

Secret drinking: Shame
Social embarrassment and humiliation.
Personal and "How could he/she say that?"
"Socially withdrawn" at the party last night.
Stays out late or doesn't come home for  2-3 days.
Social withdrawal: turns down invitations quits entertaining in the home.

Suspiciousness questions mate's activities or fidelity: Fear
Takes control: picks up user's paycheck to make sure bills are paid.
Accusations
Changes lifestyle.
Geographic cures.
Rigidity: "have my house run my way."
Masked with anger and contempt.

Can't control drinking: Hurt
Communication as he tries to control deteriorates.
Others takes user's behavior personally.

Self-pity: Loneliness
Obsessive thoughts.
Can't get mind off of blaming others the user.
"You don't love me anymore."

Efforts to control are futile: Helplessness
Blames the user's drinking for failure "you're destroying my life."
Drinking increases.
Problems increase.

Emotionally inaccessible: Hopelessness
Family breaks down; depression, nervous breakdown, hospitalized for somatic illnesses.
"GIVES UP" or breaks away.
Moves out or has the user leave.